Tight Fittin' Jeans
by StrawberryStetson
Summary: This is a oneshot about how Joseph came to be employed as Clarisse's bodyguard and also how they came to have a friendship that turned to love. I was inspired the song of the same title and urge you to listen to it.


Title: Tight Fittin Jeans

Rated K

Disclaimer: I do not own Princess Diaries or any of the characters although if someone would put Hector Elizondo on Ebay I'd buy him for sure!

Summary: **I got this idea from a Conway Twitty song called "Tight Fittin Jeans" it's kind of a sweet story about how Joseph came to be Clarisse's bodyguard and then head of security.**

He sat at the end of the bar nursing his first beer. He always liked the first one to go down kinda slowly. Besides all that he had been out of a job for over a week now and Milton his boss had just barely gotten him a new job that morning. He wasn't sure he wanted that job. He needed the money. But his luck was about to change only he didn't know it.

She walked through the door and instantly he knew she'd never been there before. Perhaps she'd never been in a bar. Despite the fact that she was wearing tight fitting jeans, a white cotton shirt, a black vest and black cowboy boots, she was no more at home in that outfit then he was in a suit.

A drunk guy playing pool instantly began to hit on her and he could tell she was put off. Quickly he made his way over to her. Without a word he took her hand and led her away from the commotion.

"Sorry about that. Randy's an ok guy he just overdoes it."

"I can see that? And who do I owe rescue to."

"Joseph. Or you can call me Joe."

"I think I like Joseph. My name is, well you can call me Julie."

"I see. You must be hiding or on the run from someone."

"Well let's just say that it's better if I keep this simple."

"Sounds good to me. Let me buy you a drink. I can tell you are more of a champagne kinda lady."

"Yes thank you but what is it you are drinking?"

"It's beer. Here you can try mine. I warn you it isn't sweet."

Clarisse sipped the beer and giggled. "Yes I rather like this."

"All right a beer it is. But we better start you off with a lighter version.

He ordered the beer and then turned to look at her.

"So what brings a lovely lady of your stature into a cowboy bar of all places. You look like you're well groomed, taken care of, you certainly aren't poor and I bet you can't tell Waylon Jennings from Willie Nelson."

"Perhaps but I'm not all that I seem. And I'm sure you may find that out."

She took a swig of her beer and smiled at him.

"Do you know how to do that dance they are doing?"

"The two-step, sure. I know a lot about dancing. Come on I'll show you."

He led her onto the dance floor and showed her the steps. A couple of times she stepped on his boots and she'd blush fiercely when she did. He couldn't believe how good it felt to hold her in his arms.

They danced every song for the next hour and he was surprised when she showed him that she knew how to waltz. This made the slow songs romantic and he could hold her close.

"Let's take a break I need a few more beers in me." He said leading her to a table.

He ordered them each two more beers and on the third she insisted on doing away with the light stuff.

"You're married aren't you?"

"Yes, since I was sixteen. You're right about me. I am used to being dressed in fancy garments, and jewelry. I never dance to cowboy songs and I never drink beer but I made a decision to try it tonight."

"And you came here?"

"I have enjoyed John Wayne movies for many years. So I decided to find a cowboy bar and here I am. It's always been a dream of mine. Tomorrow I will be going home back to my glitter but tonight I want to be a cowboy's girl."

"Well I think you've done a lovely job so far."

"I thank you."

They sat there for over two hours drinking beer and telling stories. She found out that he had begun working with the CIA right out of the military but had decided to go freelance. He had done every job from ranching to security and even did a short stint in the NBA until he'd injured his knee. Both his parents had died in a car accident when he was fifteen and he'd been raised by an aunt and uncle that owned a ranch.

"I think I'm ready for another dance." She said barely able to stand.

"I think you're a little drunk, Julie."

"I'll thank you kindly not to make judgments. Now take me out of the floor and let's kick up our feet..er our heels!"

He requested a fast tune and spinned and danced her all over the dance floor. Then she headed back to the table, on her way she saw a woman with two shots in front of her.

"What is that woman drinking?"

"Oh you don't want that. Not only will you not stand up, you may fall right to the floor."

"Order me a red one and a yellow one."

He left her in her chair and ordered the shots; two for each of them. He was only slightly buzzed, you couldn't do half the jobs he'd done if you couldn't hold your liquor.

"Now listen to me. These are shots of very strong alcohol. You can't sip them. You have to take the hold glass in one swig. You ready?"

He counted to three and she down both shots in a fraction of a second.

"That burned. What exac-uh precise er what is supposed to happen?"

But before he could answer her, she passed cleanly out on the table. Gently he lifted her up in his arms and made for the door. He nodded his head to the bartender.

"Take care of her Joe."

"I intend to. Goodnight Ralph."

Clarisse awoke the next morning feeling like a hammer had squashed out her temple. And so thirsty that she was certain Niagra Falls would fit in her belly. Her throat burned and she instantly remembered the red shot of liquor. She didn't recognize the bed or the room she was in. When finally she was able to focus, she saw a dark figure asleep on the couch.

"Joseph?"

He was alert instantly.

"I'm here. Are you all right?"

"I have a dreadful headache."

"There's a glass of water and some Tylenol next to the bed. It should help."

"Thank you. Where are we?"

"My apartment, three blocks from the bar. If you'll forgive me I didn't know where you were staying."

She felt relieved that in her drunken stupor he hadn't taken advantage of her. She had the safest feeling with him.

"I really must get back to my hotel. My flight leaves this afternoon."

"Where are you staying I can give you a ride."

"At the Mozetta Suites."

"I should've known."

He gave her his sun glasses and helped her on the back of his motorcycle. When they arrived at the hotel a young woman in her early twenties and an older gentleman met her.

"Your Majesty we were so worried about you. Where have you been?"

"My meeting downtown with the Southwest Society took longer than expected, so I stayed down there. By the time I got to the room I was just passed out and didn't call. George, Charlotte, this is Joseph, he was kind enough to take me home." She turned to look at him unsure of what to say.

"George, nice to meet you sir. The Queen here has told me all about you and Genovia. Your Majesty I've thought it over and I would be honored to be your new body guard."

The smile on her face was all that he needed. He made arrangements with George her head of security and all his possessions including his bike would be flown to Genovia the following day. George and Charlotte left to make final preparations to fly home leaving Clarisse and Joseph in the empty lobby.

"How did you know who I was?"

"I told you I've been in every job imaginable. Milton called me last night and told me the Queen of Genovia was in need of a bodyguard. He sent me a fax with the paperwork and there was your photo. I wasn't going to take it. People of royalty are snotty and spoiled, but I never would've imagined I'd get my interview in person."

"I am so happy you are coming to Genovia. And I assure you I am not snotty or spoiled."

"Yes I know because cleverly disguised is a tiger in those tight fittin jeans."

And the rest was history……


End file.
